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Literature by under-raindrops

Words by Queen-of-Marigold


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Submitted on
August 17, 2007
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While we slept,
you strapped your arm around
my chest like armor and possession,
like ‘this one belongs to me.’ Together, we are
teaching the things that haunt us
to lie down in their graves.

Here, like this
your demons say to mine as
they demonstrate the art of behaving.
Together, we secure their
broken bodies and set them into six feet of
downward motion.
        (but we do not follow
           we cannot go in their stead)

They do not know they’re dead. It’s
always a blow when we break the news.
They find themselves jealous of our
human skin and our inhaling
                                 exhaling chests.
(we are too kind
to show that we are more alive without them
   that losing them is not a loss)

But they sleep after many lessons and
much persuasion, and then
      so do we.
For Jenny, who holds me in her sleep.
Who holds me cities away, and brings me lemons and pens.

For Jenny, who I cannot scare away.
She is why I stand up straighter now.
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Daily Deviation

Given 2007-08-26
Teachers to the Dead by =nonamepsalmist. 'A beautiful poem that shows the power of conquering our demons together.' ( Suggested by LineCount and Featured by PoeticWar )
:iconstop-drop-n-roll:
Stop-Drop-N-Roll Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2008
Beautiful poem here - I love the way you put things. I love how simplistic it seems on the outside, yet the deeper meanings hidden within.
Reply
:iconup-up-up-up-up-up:
up-up-up-up-up-up Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2008
I think... I adore your writing. Especially this beautiful piece. It speaks volumes.

:heart:
Reply
:iconbirghteyez:
BirghtEyEz Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2007
This is beautiful.

You have a gift.
Reply
:iconnonamepsalmist:
nonamepsalmist Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2007   Writer
I have a curse of a blessing.
Reply
:iconbirghteyez:
BirghtEyEz Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2007
Interesting way of describing it. Care to elaborate?
Reply
:iconwinterfang:
Winterfang Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2007  Hobbyist Writer
"my chest like...possession," I really like that line, because "possession" isn't...that idea wouldn't typically be phrased like that, in "proper" Enlgish, but it makes so much sense, and it's quite elegant.

"set them into six feet of
downward motion." I enjoy not only that you're using "downward motion" instead of "dirt" or "earth", but also the...the action the scene presents, the visual of it.

"human skin and our inhaling
exhaling chests." That's just beautiful, and the placement and lack of words between "inhale/exhale" bring to mind meditation, the long space where you're just holding your breath, for a still moment in between the action of life.

This is gorgeous and elegant, and it's one of the better poems I've ever read. It makes me hope.
Reply
:iconsirannon:
sirannon Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2007  Hobbyist General Artist
This was just marvelous. I wish I could write like this. I really felt it.

Thank you.
Reply
:iconaquarius21294:
Aquarius21294 Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007
Together, we secure their
broken bodies and set them into six feet of
downward motion.


^I like that part.

Great job.
Reply
:iconinfinitejest:
InfiniteJest Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007
Sending love out to all the writers on DA.
Reply
:iconmekisyo:
mekisyo Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007
its beautiful
Reply
:iconannikaastra:
AnnikaAstra Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007  Professional Writer
Very very strong piece of literature. Mimicking comments before, this really hits home. Thank you for sharing
Reply
:iconhomiko:
Homiko Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007
Very well written! The structure, the feeling, the word choice... All wonderful. Congrats!
Reply
:iconristar89:
Ristar89 Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007
We need more poetry like this on dA. :clap:

I love the way it flows together. ^o^ Excellent job, and deserving of that DD. :D
Reply
:iconfire-within-me:
fire-within-me Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007
aww that was soo beautiful
Reply
:iconknightwhisper:
Knightwhisper Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007
<3 it =)

This is exactly how I feel about my boyfriend!
Reply
:iconkildgeek:
KildGeek Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007
Beautiful - it describes a lovely relationship and gives a feeling of strength against the bad things in life. Excellent.
Reply
:iconfyre-eyes:
fyre-eyes Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007
This is extremely lovely.
:clap:

I really like the way you used her demons talking to yours.

Very lovely indeed.
= )
Reply
:iconnonamepsalmist:
nonamepsalmist Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007   Writer
I didn't have to look to hard to find those words.
It's only the truth.
Reply
:iconsoleatr:
SolEatr Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah. The old, long story of struggling with your own demons ^^

This is wonderful and worth a fave.
May Jenny keep on helping you to conquer your demons
Reply
:iconnonamepsalmist:
nonamepsalmist Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007   Writer
Thank you.

I have a feeling she's not going anywhere.
Reply
:icontheinsightlyminds:
TheInsightlyMinds Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007
Brilliant. ^^
Reply
:icontheory-azael:
Theory-Azael Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007
It's so hard to find good poets on DA, so I"m incredibly happy to have found you.

This is a beautiful piece, wonderfully worded, and so sincere. You've done a brilliant job with this.
Reply
:iconnonamepsalmist:
nonamepsalmist Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007   Writer
*blushes*
Reply
:iconwandering-seeker:
Wandering-Seeker Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007  Hobbyist General Artist
Beautiful. And I understand the sentiment perfectly....
Reply
:iconveccro:
Veccro Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007
This is wonderful, a beautiful poem.
Reply
:iconairwriter:
airwriter Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007
awesome poem :) very well written.
Reply
:icontechnotroll:
TechnoTroll Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007
Simply beautiful. The emotions simply seep out of it. Bravo to you, miss.
Reply
:iconqueenofthedragons:
QueenOfTheDragons Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007
You're so lucky...

Wow... You basicly put down my one dream for a relationship in this. This seriously got to me. Good job! :aww:
Reply
:iconnonamepsalmist:
nonamepsalmist Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007   Writer
It's like a dream, but then it's reality.

And since it's real-
it's like a dream all over again.
Reply
:iconoilsoaked:
oilsoaked Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Very poignant and beautiful.
Reply
:iconaoi-sekirei:
aoi-sekirei Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007
A lovely poem. It feels like you painted on silence.
Reply
:iconnonamepsalmist:
nonamepsalmist Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007   Writer
I can't think of a better canvas.
Reply
:icona-white-rabbit:
a-white-rabbit Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007
This is so beautiful and inspiring. I love it.
Reply
:iconanime-kisekae:
anime-kisekae Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007
This is one of the most beautiful things I have ever read.
Reply
:iconskellington13rose:
Skellington13Rose Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007
This is so beautiful, I'm glad I found it. A great pleasure to read. ^^
Congrats on the DD ^^
Reply
:iconprocrastinatinpanda:
ProcrastinatinPanda Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007  Hobbyist General Artist
very powerful
Reply
:iconmrsvelvetears:
mrsvelvetears Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007   Writer
I agree with batousaijin - your artist's comments make this poem all the sweeter.

I especially like the line break between inhaling and exhaling. It gives us the readers a chance to breathe, too.

Anyway, congratulations on the DD :)
Reply
:iconthekevorkianpenguin:
thekevorkianpenguin Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007
This is a wonderful work. I absolutely love it. :+favlove:
Reply
:iconcrashthruwall:
crashthruwall Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007   Photographer
blow away amazing.
Reply
:iconelegaer:
elegaer Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007
Beautiful.
Reply
:iconskylark252:
Skylark252 Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007
This is a wonderful poem. Everytime I read it I gain a little more insight into it. You manage to bring words to every hope people have: overcoming their terrors. Very well done and congratualtions.
Reply
:iconnonamepsalmist:
nonamepsalmist Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007   Writer
It's funny that everyone keeps talking about hope when describing this poem. That wasn't really where I meant to take the piece- but I'm glad it landed there.

I just meant it as a thank you to my girlfriend.
She's a hopeful creature, so I guess it all worked out.
Reply
:iconlinecount:
LineCount Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007
Congratulations on this well-deserved DD! We love this poem.
Reply
:iconbeyondweird:
beyondweird Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007
I could read this so many more times and not get bored of it...it just feels so honest, and I love that in a poem. Beautiful work :)
Reply
:iconadobemaster:
adobemaster Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007
lovely, absolutely lovely
Reply
:iconseerborn:
seerborn Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007  Hobbyist General Artist
This is beautiful. And it is wonderful to read about someone who found strenght...sanctuary...and with this you remind us of hope. Thank you and congratulations on the Daily Deviation.
Reply
:iconnonamepsalmist:
nonamepsalmist Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007   Writer
No one has ever told met that I made them hope.
At least, I don't think.

I guess that's new since the theme of my work has kind of perked up recently.
Hope is such a big thing.

Pass it around, okay?
Reply
:iconseerborn:
seerborn Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007  Hobbyist General Artist
Well you do...you know that feeling...where you are happy for someone and can't help but feel like...having your 'someday' too...I'm not sure if I am making sense. But no biggie, will do on spreading the word/hope and wishing success on being able to do that.

Have a great day.
Reply
:iconnonamepsalmist:
nonamepsalmist Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007   Writer
Hey, thank you.
I'll try only if you do the same.
Reply
:iconseerborn:
seerborn Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2007  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah. I'll do that. Good luck. =)
Reply
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